I dont know anymore.

It was a really tiring week
for me.
With so many things happening around me.
I dont know how am i even suppose to react.
I've got alot of things deep inside my heart
that i wanted to say.
But seems like everyone's busy with their own stuffs.
And each time when i wanted to speak my mind,
i dont seem to be able to do it.
Somehow, the intense pressure in myself is an undescribable feeling.
Words couldnt explain how i feel deep inside.
Probably it was only a simple thing to the others,
but not to me, at least.
I could say no one would ever feel how i feel unless they are me.

Adding on was Amaths test.
This is seriously depressing.
And after recess, we had another round of amaths lesson.
Mrs loke taught define intergrals.
For once, i was so distracted that i missed out on everything.
And i guess she failed to realise this time.
Because usually if she knows im distracted,
she would have told me to answer her qns on purpose.
After she taught define intergrals, she told us to do
the qns.
Got nothing because i just dont get it.
And still feeling very distracted.
And she had to teach me again.
Sorry, but i didnt do it on purpose to not listen to your lesson.
I just need thinking and reflecting space.

After school.
Was supposed to meet clique.
Met and didnt talk.
Because i really didnt want after i know about somethings.
So was walking behind and Michael gave me a push to join them.
Didnt really talk. They went varinice, while i stoned at the bus stop.
Kaibin gave me a call to ask what happened to me.
Was thinking of going home initially.
Checked the time, changed my mind.
Just hop onto bus and trained to Airport.
Dont ask me why i even went there.
I dont know. I just follow where my heart wants to go.
Reached and was way too tired to think.
Fell asleep until she sms-ed me.
She came over to find me.
Heart talks on our way to mac.
Had a super late lunch, hence skipping dinner.
Did some homework and went home at 7pm.

Reached home.
Heart talks with yilin.
Updated each other on our lives.
Talked for at least 1hr.
Watched tv after the call.
Onlined but didnt really talk much.
Listened songs and knocked off at 11pm.

And before i go off,
I would want to thank all those who listened to me
and gave me encouragement.
Although right now, i have not decide what to do,
but i believe i will soon.
Bye.

At times i failed to express myself
to you about my problems.
But in any case, i still thank you for
accompanying me till midnight
because i haven finish my hws due to
my problems. Nicest person ever. (: